Jerry’s Blog

My life in a series of images, links & commentary 

Hutzelbrot - holiday bread in the 21st century

               

My mom, brother Jon and I made six loaves of delicious German holiday yeast bread this last weekend. In doing so, we linked arms with our German ancestors who came to the US in the 1800's.

I should point out that Mom did most of the work and had the memories of her mom from which to draw as well as tech support from her sisters back home in North Dakota.

Photos taken on January 29, 2010, St. Louis, Missouri, USA on the occassion of Mom's 88th birthday celebration weekend.

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Filed under  //   bread   daniels   german   holiday   holiday bread   hutzelbrot   jon   mom   weiss  
Posted by Jerry Daniels 

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If Steve Jobs delivered the State of the Union

Steve Jobs. Click image to expand.

"President Obama will deliver his first State of the Union address on Jan. 27. … In the televised speech to the nation, Mr. Obama will outline his priorities for the coming year as well as recount what he believes are the achievements from his first year in office."—New York Times, Jan. 18, 2010

"Yes folks—the rumors are true. Apple is holding an event on January 27th to show off something the company is calling their 'latest creation.' "Engadget, Jan. 18, 2010

Thank you for coming. And thank you to President Obama for asking me to deliver this year's speech. We're going to make some history today.

You know, it was just a year ago that we announced our economic plan for 2009. We said we were going to turn around the recession. We said we'd create jobs. And we said we'd do it in 12 months. What happened? We did it in three. It was the most successful period in the history of the United States. And 2010 is only going to be better. How awesome is that?

(APPLAUSE.)

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How did we do it? Simple. We made a stimulus package. It had the most features of any package we've ever created—more jobs, more money, more everything. We could have stopped there. We could've said, Hey, that was great. Let's go do something else. But you know what? It wasn't enough. The American people deserve something even better and more revolutionary.

So today, we're introducing a new plan. It's called Stimulus 2GS, and it's sleeker than any economic recovery package ever created. It's got bridges, it's got schools, it's got broadband Internet. All that, and it's super easy to use—you can control it from iTunes. Pretty cool, huh?

(APPLAUSE.)

Now let's take a look at national security. When we got in here last year, torture was basically OK. We were water-boarding people and doing all sorts of terrible things. If you're the president of the United States, how do you solve this? Hmm. Oh wait, we have solved this. We banned torture. Boom. Now that's what I call an amazing breakthrough.

(APPLAUSE. HOOTING.)

OK, I know what you're thinking: Afghanistan. That war's not going so well. Kind of a quagmire. So what do you do? You get a better strategy. The 2010 Afghanistan war is newer, better, and cheaper. Want to see what it looks like?

(DELIRIOUS SCREAMS.)

OK, let me call up iMovie. See those drones? They were doing OK, taking out some of the top guys in the Taliban. That just wasn't good enough. We took them apart, totally redesigned them. They've got multi-touch, 3G, and augmented reality terrorist locators. Starting tonight, you can buy them on apple.gov. Just kidding. We wouldn't do that. But we could do that, if we wanted to. And boom—just like that, we've changed warfare. How do you like that, America?

(CHANTS OF "USA! USA!")

Oh, I almost forgot. Last year we unveiled our health care plan. A lot of people didn't like it, said that it was socialist, that we wanted to have these complicated, hard-to-understand death panels for Grandma and Grandpa. We heard you. Loud and clear. We've honed this plan to its core elements. No discrimination for pre-existing conditions. If you lose your job, you keep your insurance. And we'll do the death panels in iLife—couldn't be easier. Cost savings. Bipartisanship. You won't like this new health care plan. You'll love it.

(APPLAUSE. STOMPING.)

And that's only the beginning. We've got a lot more exciting announcements coming up. Take the judicial world. All I can say is that the Supreme Court will be younger and hipper than ever before. We're also working on transparency. Take data.gov. Wanna know how many toilets there are in the Capitol? Now you know. Magic. Also, climate change. We're gonna fix that, too. People say it's hard, but we've got it down to two easy steps: Cap. Trade.

(MURMURING)

Cap. Trade.

(LAUGHTER)

Cap. Trade.

(STANDING OVATION.)

Amazing, right?

Hate to say it, but I'd love to hear a State of the Union address that was this simple and hopeful.

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Filed under  //   humor   slate   state of the union   steve jobs  
Posted by Jerry Daniels 

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Ultra nice video wedding announcement!

Funny, meticulously produced—moving, even. Truly magnificent! Nice couple, too.

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Filed under  //   romance   video   wedding  
Posted by Jerry Daniels 

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Self-image and the brain's catch-22

The above brain scan is featured in a great write-up on recent research about frontal lobes, the benefits of having them active and how to activate them.

Short version: the more you think you're better than others, the less active the lobes become. Less active lobes decrement your ability to reason, plan, make decisions and solve problems. A true Catch-22 or is there a way out?

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Filed under  //   brain   frontal lobes   research   self image  
Posted by Jerry Daniels 

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God's Control Buttons

I love the note about not using the helium voice effect! Classic.

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Posted by Jerry Daniels 

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Small Home Office in Your Backyard

Oh yes. I'll take two...one for me, one for MJ. Unless you've got one for two people. That'd be my pref.

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Posted by Jerry Daniels 

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This is frickin' scary

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Filed under  //   cartoons   real life   scary  
Posted by Jerry Daniels 

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Map of the USA | made by a Texan?

Ya think?

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Filed under  //   humor   map   texas  
Posted by Jerry Daniels 

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Good Samaritan flies to passenger's rescue

w_clark306.jpg

On a plane bound for O'Hare International Airport, Elsie Clark felt weak, scared and utterly alone  --  until she spotted a pair of shiny leather shoes across the aisle.

What happened to the 79-year-old Canadian over the next 12 hours  --  she was embraced by a good Samaritan, escorted through O'Hare in a wheelchair and welcomed to a swanky high-rise for a dinner overlooking Lake Michigan  --  saved her from a traumatic stranding in Chicago.

It also proved that, even in tough times, people can surprise each other with acts of kindness.

On Dec. 30, which she described as one of the worst days of her life, Clark was on her way back to Winnipeg, Manitoba, after spending Christmas with her family in Texas when she missed her flight out of Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport after an airport employee left her sitting for hours at the wrong terminal.

Clark, who has a bad hip and has to use a wheelchair when traveling, was finally put on another plane with a connection in Chicago, only to be delayed by bad weather.

"I was so thirsty and hungry," said Clark, who lives on a fixed income. "I felt absolutely deserted and I was scared because I kept thinking, 'What is going to happen in Chicago if I miss my plane?' I would have to sit on the hard airport bench all night."

Click that link to read the rest of this great story. THIS is what it's all about, my friends.

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Filed under  //   chicago   good deeds   good samaritan  
Posted by Jerry Daniels 

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Underpants of mass destruction!

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Filed under  //   humor   politics   terrorism   underpants  
Posted by Jerry Daniels 

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