Cuddled up in bed with the missus and my iPhone running the Kindle app.

Pathetically, I am reading a vampire novel written for teenage girls.

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bob says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.." 

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs $10 - A lot cheaper than a doctor." 

So, Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. 

10 seconds later, the computer ejects printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in 2 weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart." 

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. 

Bob hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits $10, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. 

The computer prints the following: 

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better! 

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart!

- thanks to Steve Hathaway for the send